Monday, 10 June 2024

Adjusting

Monday 10 TH June 2024

Dear Reader ,

No one gives you the heads up on life’s ups & downs.
Life’s obstacles & accomplishments. No one .

You have to feel what you feel in that day , week & month . Just know that you are enough , you are strong , you are worthy .

When life gives you lemons , chug some tequila !

Growing up with good memories & bad , sometimes one out weights the other at times . Believe me know know !!

As Rocky Balboa once said …. 

“ It Ain’t How Hard You Hit . It’s How Hard You Can Get Hit & Keep Moving Forward ” .

On the other hand , as much as this quote is well known , you do not always have to put up with being knocked down . 

You get back up , dust yourself off & stand your ground if required . 
You do not have to take shit from anyone , whoever they are & however long you have known them . 

Take NF ( Music Artist for example ) , song Let You Down . 

If you have not heard the song before , it is very good . 

My point is , you are enough & don’t let anyone tell you otherwise . Whether they are a friend , acquaintance or family member . 

Sometimes you just have to put yourself first & it is 💩 to begin with , however it is going to get better . 

❤️‍🩹 

Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now , a few weeks in , to a month to years .

You just have to be your authentic self & at times it is brutal to do so , however it is necessary . 

There are more songs I could list that I can relate to & you may be able to relate to such as artists of the following : 

Jessy Murph 

Georgiou Music 

Etc . 

You don’t have to put up with verbal insults / verbal abuse or physical , I know believe me it is extremely hard with verbal let alone physical . 

I just want to speak to you about it & let you know that it is NOT your FAULT . 

It is them , whether they are coming from a scared place or just generally saying or doing things becuase , they “ feel ” as though it is their “ authority ” to be that way . Or them trying to be little you to give them a high & make themselves feel better about whatever reason . So they take it out on you or try to be little you mentally or physically . 

Then when you react or stand up for yourself you are in the wrong ….. ?? 

Well excuse me for being my authentic self & apparently being “ incapable ” , “ Stupid ” , etc etc .

NO ! They just are projecting themselves onto you & you should not have to put up with that shit 💩 . 

NO ! You should not have to put up with thinking 💭 about when the next insult etc is coming & living kn the edge , or attempting to live up to their expectations & standards of what they think you should be , wear , act etc .

If you can somehow relate to this blog I am sincerely apologetic to you . 

I know this topic is not easy at all on any scale . 

As Georgiou Music says in his song Unappreciated Queens , I am sorry if you can relate . I shall place lyrics down below to . 

Why do you only love her when it suits you cos thats something she got used toShe don't wanna say the wrong thing or make the wrong move but she lost herself trying To keep youShe don't want no part time love cos' hearts too big for some half assed love and hers Past too dark to keep

That conditional love, always raising the bar then knocking her down on your bad nightsEvery row just feels like a land slideSomehow she's always the bad guy
You can get through this please know you are not alone , even if they say you are , like I have been told . 
Remember like Georgiou Music 🎵 says in this song as well , people forget what people hide on their digitals . 

Even now , three weeks in almost in , as of this eveing on some ways & later this week again for me it will be week three all over again . 

I still have the messages , via text , e-mail as well , I know it just gets me down however  I have not removed them off my phone to remind me why I have stopped contact with them . 

Unfortunately that also ended up being a result in loosing not one but two people that were “ family ” .

I am trying to get used to being back with my birth surname now as I have made a hudge step in changing my surname back to my birth one , after over 20 years of being with the given surname . 

Toxic is toxic , no one , absolutely no one should be knocked down on their bad nights or days etc as Georgiou says as well as remembering abuse isn’t always physical it can be mental too . 

Yes I have the good memories however I also have plenty of not so good memories . 

Just remember you are worthy , you are strong 💪🏽 , you are enough .

Ffs 🤦‍♀️ please stay strong . 

I believe in you as well as I believe in myself . 

It is not going to be easy , it is going to be hard , difficult at times however , it will get easier the pain etc will numb over . 

Don’t let anyone disturb your peace & mess up your mental health please . 

Thank you . 

You should not have to live on the edge mentally & wonder when the next time 🕰️ will be & live day by day wondering “ when is the next time 🕰️ ” .
Etc .